Well, I'm currently on day 4, tonight will be my 5th application. I haven't seen much difference in my skin---but my body and how I feel physically...OY. Symptoms I have had include: MAJOR headache, not sleeping well (I normally sleep like a rock, or so says the husband), lining of my nose hurts, I feel like a booger factory, and I am a Debbie Downer. Crying over everything and anything is just not like me.
I am waiting on the derm (RC) to call me back because I'm concerned with having an autoimmune disorder that the med may not work properly. I realize there is a butt-load of side effects, but that's not what concerns me. I'd rather know that the cream is working on my skin, and not just causing side effects without the treatment of skin. Better to figure it out now than go through a whole round of treatment for naught.
Today I had my first real regretful feeling. I was at work and while washing my hands I was staring at my scar. I wish I had thought it through more carefully, I wish I'd had more information prior to the surgery, I wish I'd considered every angle...but you know what? Maybe I wouldn't have had all the insight that I do now, I really don't know. Something else I thought about is the fact that if I had just chosen to do the chemo cream I wouldn't have this scar down my nose. I hate having this scar. Seriously. I already have one on my mouth from an incident with barbed wire at the age of 5. That is just a second nature scar to me. But now I have another one. And I dislike it---cannot stand it. Maybe it's just my pity party kicking in, but it is what it is. Ever have moments like those?
I am still documenting my nose via pics daily, but not much change to report. Will post a triple duty one in a few days.
Keep warm folks!
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