Update on an Update---sorta.

Behold---the face after another round of Zyclara.  Hard to see what it really looks like via a picture (and from my iPhone, no less). 

I tried to filter the color out so that you could see my scar (and now my wrinkles really stand out!), but it's still difficult to really see the effects. 

First, my skin is extra SUPER dry!  I currently have the thick Vitamin E moisturizer on, which is kind of a grody feeling. Feels good on my sandpaper, though, so I won't complain.  That's something I've noticed a lot of is how dry it has been.  There are some flaky areas, but nothing I haven't had before during a cold winter. 

Second, I have a place above my lip (actually looks like an extension of my upper lip peak) that is colored like a sore, but just very flat and dry.  There are a few other places that are smaller, similar...but only I would be able to point them out to you. 

I am waiting for an appointment with my new doctor---one that my surgeon recommended.  One reason I decided to make this switch (other than the recommendation) is the fact that my surgeon wanted me to use Efudex on my face and on my SCC site.  The other derm decided I didn't need that and prescribed the Imiquimod.  One thing I am learning (yes, old dogs can learn new tricks!) is that I am in control of ME.  I can question, discuss, and even argue (carefully) with my doctors.  I employ them.  And even if I LIKE them, they still are supposed to be working with me to figure these things out.  I am learning more as I go through this--I research, I experience--and at the end of the day, when I am uncertain about something I have to have a voice for my own good.

So...that's somewhat of an update.  Not a whole lot to report, but that's not always a bad thing!

Almost There!

I can see the sunshine... but with a good dose of sunscreen. (sarcasm alert) I have almost always worn sunscreen, whether  with my  makeup, or apurposely slathered from the SPF bottle. My husband made mention maybe that's why I have these issues--- its the sunscreen that did it! While I am always up for a juicy government conspiracy, this comment didn't even make me laugh.

I am currently experiencing major dehydration on my face--- feels gross. My hair guru said she could tell my face appeared 'tight', and not that youthful gravity-has-not-affected-skin tight, but sucked dry of all moisture tight. I have some flakes, some redness, and definitely an older appearance. Several bumps have broken through... will be interested in seeing what they are.  One on my cheek is definitely something to look at, as the spot that is on my nose. I bought a small 'goes on dry' sunscreen (70 SPF, I think) to leave on my desk at school. Since I have recess duty, I smear it on about 20-30 minutes before we prepare to leave  class.

I have a picture that I will upload later if I can, just so everyone can see the reddish places I am talking about. I hope everyone is enjoying this fine spring weather. Our countdown is on for winter break! Enjoy life, people!

Another Round Has Started

Howdy!  I am writing a quick update.  Not much to report.  As of this morning, I have applied Zyclara twice.  A few things I noticed right before going into this round:  some bumps that resembled pimples, but weren't, had popped up.  Definitely the one on my nose...it's still there.  I am applying cream to the whole face, which has made my cheeks somewhat rosier. 

This is a pic I took after applying the second day of Zylcara.
I still dislike my scar on my nose.  You can also see that my nose seems to be somewhat fluffier. 
The lining of my nose gets really dry feeling and then I start having sinus issues.  This started at Day 1 of treatment.  It then progresses to grody drainage, with the need to hock loogies quite often (sorry for the gross illustration, but it's true).    Anyway, I'm interested in seeing the 'end' results, although I will be doing a second round for the face area sans nose (since I did just the nose first round).  Whatever the outcome, I will be considering my options much more carefully and more thoughtfully, without a rush to making a determination until I'm 100% positive of my choice.

On a sidenote:  dilemma 1 has presented itself to the household.  The daughter wants to tan a few times in a tanning bed to add some color before prom.  I spoke with her (doubt she listened) and she doesn't like the idea of spray ons (she said every person that she has seen with a spray tan appears orange-tinged).  I also told her that spray ons don't leave scars.  She has pursued debate with research and statistics of childhood burns, sun exposure, etc.  It will work out, no doubt, but still...

That's it for quick update.  So, for all you tanners and non-tanners, have a great weekend! 

One Round Down---One More to Go!

Greetings, friendly people!  I am sorry for the lack of update, I'm sure you all (one or two of you) were anxiously awaiting my results. Well, I can't say for sure what my results have been!  This has truly been a learning experience for me, and one I have several regrets over.  Hind sight is 20/20, or so 'they' say.  Here's a few things I've learned this week---

1)  It's your body.  Don't be bullied or pressured into making a decision (promptly) without much consideration, counseling (if needed), or second/third/tenth opinions.

2)  It's okay to say 'wait' if it isn't life threatening at that moment.

3)  It's okay to ask for advice.  And then some.

4)  It's okay to cancel a follow up appointment when you know that your appointment will last literally two minutes, with nothing to show for it except a $300 bill.

5)  It's okay to have regrets.  Cry about it. Move on.

Okay.  So here's where I'm at right now.  I WISH I had canceled my surgery appointment for my nose.  Here's why.  The appointment was made directly after the biopsy results came in.  By the time the surgery date rolled around, NOTHING was on my nose.  So at that point, where to exactly have surgery became a guessing game.  I had a hazy picture of a disappearing biopsy and the nurse and I had to play 'pin the dot' on my nose.  It was difficult, and we erased and re-marked my nose three times.  I have a bad feeling that we had it right on the first try.  You see, after my first round with Zyclara, IT's BACK.  Right below the tip of the scar line.  And I get the feeling it is my original, biopsied BCC.  Which would mean that I had healthy tissue operated and cut away, and a nice scar to show for it.  For nothing.  My husband made a remark to me today and it struck me as how right he was, and why didn't I think of that.  He said---"It's your body.  Why didn't you cancel the appointment until you knew exactly where it was again?"  Yeah.  Why didn't he offer that advice to me prior to the surgery!?  LOL.  Some days I'm not the brightest crayon in the box.

Here's my hazy concert picture.  Can you see the biopsy fading from my nose?  I'm just hoping this is another spot, possibly an AK that the Zyclara has brought to the surface.  Crossing fingers.  Shout out to my concert-friend-in-crime, Casey.

In addition to all that, I now have a bump that has formed, seemingly, within the cartilage right below the actual nose bone.  It's on my right side and I definitely have a bump.  I've read where that may happen when there is surgery around cartilage (or big needles being stuck in it).  I'm hoping it doesn't get any larger and goes away on its own. 

Please don't think I'm a vain person.  I do have my moments, and it is a little deflating to one's self esteem at times.  Right now I am avoiding the mirror when absolutely possible.  Yes, it bothers me.  Especially when I feel like I haven't made the right decision and I have proof of it.  I have issues with being right.

All in all, the Zyclara went oddly well.  I don't know if that means it's working and I reacted well, or it's not working and that's why I reacted well.  My last day to apply the cream was the 14th.  Just this week I have two spots (one that I believe is the original BCC) and another one beside it which have appeared.  This may be due to the Zyclara and they are just now showing up.  Glad I didn't go to my 'check up' for it...there was nothing there.  (Seems to be a common theme). 

I have decided to forgo an appointment about undeclared BCC and document it through pictures and measurements (something I'd wish I had done when I had the biopsy---word of advice, document everything!) and then talk about it with my Derm at the next appointment (which would be after the next 14 days of Zyclara).  As expensive as office visits are, I'm trying to lean down on the trips.

All that being said, I'm living with my tiny regrets and they may seem small in comparison to the world of REALLY big problems others are having.  I realize this.  I'm human, too.  I know I have many blessings to be thankful for (and I really am), so I'm just going to have to muddle through my feelings and get over it.

So, here's to my old nose!  Cheers.  You were my favorite feature.  And I'm thankful it doesn't have a Frankenstein scar on it.  (Baby steps, right?)  Shout out to my glam friends, Devon and Jessica.

And something that I'm always thankful for---this bunch seen below. Even on my bad days.

In closing, I hope you have received something that may be useful to you in the future, or something to consider one day.  If you have any questions, or even a thought, please leave it in the comments section.  Appreciate your time!  Will be updating right before the second round, which would be close to the end of January.  Until then...see ya!

4th Day In...and a Bunch of Regret

Well, I'm currently on day 4, tonight will be my 5th application.  I haven't seen much difference in my skin---but my body and how I feel physically...OY.  Symptoms I have had include:  MAJOR headache, not sleeping well (I normally sleep like a rock, or so says the husband), lining of my nose hurts, I feel like a booger factory, and I am a Debbie Downer.  Crying over everything and anything is just not like me. 

I am waiting on the derm (RC) to call me back because I'm concerned with having an autoimmune disorder that the med may not work properly.  I realize there is a butt-load of side effects, but that's not what concerns me.  I'd rather know that the cream is working on my skin, and not just causing side effects without the treatment of skin.  Better to figure it out now than go through a whole round of treatment for naught. 

Today I had my first real regretful feeling.  I was at work and while washing my hands I was staring at my scar.  I wish I had thought it through more carefully, I wish I'd had more information prior to the surgery, I wish I'd considered every angle...but you know what? Maybe I wouldn't have had all the insight that I do now, I really don't know.  Something else I thought about is the fact that if I had just chosen to do the chemo cream I wouldn't have this scar down my nose.  I hate having this scar.  Seriously.  I already have one on my mouth from an incident with barbed wire at the age of 5.  That is just a second nature scar to me.  But now I have another one.  And I dislike it---cannot stand it.  Maybe it's just my pity party kicking in, but it is what it is.  Ever have moments like those?

I am still documenting my nose via pics daily, but not much change to report.  Will post a triple duty one in a few days.

Keep warm folks!

Day 2~Not Much Has Changed....Yet.

Here it is-day 2.  Not much change.  I did feel it burning last night. 

I'm trying to get the pictures just right so that I can see the true difference.  It appears when I look in the mirror my nose is more swelled.  The bottom picture is before I started treatment.  I can see the white scar well in this picture.  That is when it started to hypertrophy.  I sought the derm's treatment THAT week.  I did not wait.  You can see that the biopsy site still had not healed.  I think this may be because my nose was traumatized.  That's a good theory, no?  I mean, it was just coming out of surgery!!!   

Anyway, my nose is much drier and I expect it may get worse.  I'm prepared for that.  There isn't  a whole lot of information on Zyclara treatment because it was/is mainly used for certain types of warts.  I have found a message board that goes back to 2011.  I'm on the 3.75% dosage.  What are AKs?  Well, here's what the derm (RC) told me.

AK=Actinic Keratosis= potential precancer growths
If left untreated they may develop into squamous cell carcinoma (remember, I've had one of those on my clavicle).

There are several different options out there, but the three I've been introduced to are:
*cryosurgery-liquid nitrogen~~I've had several precancers destroyed this way.  The scar I now have is a result of a basal cell carcinoma, although years before had been 'frozen' with the nitrogen.

*5-FU is a topical chemo cream (not what I'm taking) and * Imiquimod (what I'm taking).

Imiquimod is NOT a chemo cream like 5-FU.  Essentially, it stimulates the immune system to produce a certain chemical that destroys cancer and pre-cancers.  One downside to this is...if you have an autoimmune disorder (like I do) it may not work as intended.  Yet, the derm (RC) thought this was a good option.  Anyway, I decided to take the risk.  In the future, I may end up using the 5-FU cream (the pics I've seen are not pretty), but it is said to do the job and doesn't leave scarring.

From my understanding, these creams are like a carpet cleaner.  Imagine you have your living room covered in carpet and you notice one or two stains.  You decide instead of spot treatment you will just shampoo the whole carpet.  What happens?  You end up bringing out stains/dirt you didn't realize were there.  That's what these creams do.  They bring out the AKs that are lying in wait under the surface.  Nasty boogers.

I think the best bet for treatment is to be aware of your body and any changes you may see.  Go to the dermatologist yearly and have an exam.  Yes, it is uncomfortable--but so is the alternative.  Find a good doctor, one that listens to your concerns and one that is very thorough.  Ask others who they go to and what their office visits are like.  You can learn a lot about a doctor like this. 

Realize I'm not a medical expert, that this is coming from my experiences, what I'm told by doctors, and what I've researched (Google can be misleading!)---so I'm not offering anyone advice or treatment...just a page from my life.

Thanks for reading!

How Did it Feel?~~Day 1

 I forgot to mention how I felt the first time.  Emotionally---I was anxious.  I am sure this may be typical of anyone with any type of procedure, bad news, etc.  Me?  I'm no different.  The pump of medicine is supposed to be one full squirt to cover the whole face.  So...how do I know if I'm putting the right amount on?  After I checked what one full squirt looked like, I went from my guessing.  We shall see!  I figure as long as I'm covering the nose itself (and  my little flanks on the nose bone) I should be okay.  Physically---it kinda itched, not much.  Maybe that was more me in my head than anything.  I put the cream on about an hour before I went to bed.  I didn't want to chance the pillow rubbing anything off, and then it getting on my eye or something (L.O.L.  my total train of thought!)        

I didn't sleep well last night, but that could have been the anxiety I was feeling.  Was it going to itch?  Burn?  Rub off?  You know, hypochondriac-like.


Wish me luck!                                                                           

Day 1 of Zyclara---and Let's Talk Hypertrophy!

Good day and Happy New Year!  Hoping 2015 will bring many blessings to us all. 

First off:  I am on day 1 of Zyclara.  I am instructed to apply at night.










 


So I applied last night and woke up (like) this morning and took a picture of my nose.

The thing is, my two derms have conflicting views.  Dr. D from the big teaching hospital that did my surgeries (and knows his biz) wanted me to do JUST my nose.  Once that treatment is finished, he wanted me to move on to my cheeks.  The other (I'll call her RC) wanted me to do my whole face since it was Zyclara.  Here's the deal, and I may sound stupid for this thought, but I have really sensitive skin.  I also teach.  I also have recess duty.  I don't know how my skin will react, if I will appear leprous, or just look like I have a sunburn...or nothing at all!  I. DON'T. KNOW.   So, I'm thinking with the cold windy days ahead of us, it would be easier to shield just my nose while on recess duty rather than my whole face. Having an aversion to being cold anyway---well, I'm gonna follow Dr.D's advice. Also, Dr.D said these creams are more tolerable in the winter.  Just throwing that in there for good measure.



I think my nose is traumatized---the second biopsy site on the end of my nose should have healed much more quickly!

Another thing:  I hypertrophied.  On both surgery scars.  Wonderful, ain't it?  My chest scar is exactly 1 1/2 inches long.  In my crapola iPhone 4 pictures you can't see the true nature of this scar.  Dr.D was raving about his surgery, proclaiming that the scar was going to be an itty, bitty, thin line.  Three months later he was horrified at the Frankenstein-ish scar.  The 'tracks' of the stitches were very prominent, the scar itself was a fat little worm.  He was upset that I had not sought my derms (RC) help in getting this taken care of asap.  He injected some steroid into the scar and said it was 'almost' by 'this' much too late.  His hopes were that it would look less Frankenstein-ish.  The scar itself did react well to the shots and has flattened (although the train tracks still exist).  My nose was doing awesome-ly...and then I woke up one morning and BOOM!  there it was. A cross on my bridge.

16 days to Go!

So here's the deal.  I have sixteen---counting---16 days until I start my 'cream therapy'.
I will be using an imiquimod cream (Zyclara to be exact).  The dermatologist went ahead and prescribed it for me and I have directions to start January 1st.  But here's a little background to what led up to this.

I had to go visit Doc #2 (Dr. D) because he's the guy I chose to perform the Moh's surgery.  He had already performed the surgery on my Squamous Cell (SCC)  in August.  He also told me that my chance of having another skin cancer site was vastly GREAT in the next five years.  Almost exactly three months later (to the day) I was in his chair again.  This time for a Basal Cell (BCC).  He declared, "Didn't I tell you that you'd be back?"  But he added he didn't expect to see me so soon. Yeah, me too...what he said. 

Anyway, during the time from August to November I had my stitches taken out of my neckish-chest and another biopsy, this time my nose.  Comes back BCC and I had the choice--cream or Moh's.  I chose the Moh's because of the location and I wanted to make sure it was gone.  Needless to say, I STILL will be doing the cream.  Let's just pretend I wanted another scar to add to my fabulous character.  Here are a few pics to get you started and an idea of what you might expect.

 

Sad face here---not even stitched up yet.

 

This was taken right after my stitches were removed.  Look at those tiger stripes!

 Needless to say, I have an extreme sensitivity to stitches.  My body apparently dislikes foreign objects and breaks out, itches, burns, and stays red.  This happened with the last surgery, too.

Taking Selfies!

 Before nose was Moh'd---still wearing my 'badge' from last surgery.

 Me putting on happy face during my Moh's procedure...squamous cell carcinoma.

Not so fun anymore.  Split right down the center of my face.  2nd Moh's.  Basal Cell.

The Journey Begins in 3...2...1

Hey all.  Just a quick late night foray on Dr. Google to keep me awake and overwhelmed.  A few things:

1)  Sometime this past year (I could hardly even know when exactly) I noticed a spot on my chest.  It was actually on the surface of my clavicle.  Each day as I got ready for work/school my eyes were drawn to it.  The light would reflect off this tiny spot and it shimmered with a hypnotizing effect.  I ignored it, sorta.  Of course, I looked at it each day, but really didn't pay it much mind.  Until one day I noticed it had grown.  Seemingly overnight.  Just like that.  Weird.  So, strangely I had an appointment already set up at the dermatologist (a spot on my forehead that looked like a flat wart had been bothering me)-- and she looked me over "Anything you want me to check?"  and everything was either this or that, nothing much in the way of BAD.  Last spot.  Pointed to my clavicle.  Her demeanor changed at once.  "Not good" was her response.  Measuring card was whipped out.  She biopsied.  She asked how long it had been there. She said they would call.  And call they did. 

August 2014--Squamous Cell Carcinoma.  SCC.  Never heard of it.  I googled it, and thought...wow, really not good.  Long story short, I chose Moh's procedure using a doctor at a medical hospital. (Thank goodness for hairdressers and the knowledge they glean from clients...one recommendation I don't regret.)  One swipe.  He said it was so early that he even hated to 'score' it...a zero, hardly close to a one.  Since I had gathered my evidence and background knowledge from Dr. Google, I was worried about it metastasizing to the lymph nodes.  I mean, it was really close to my neck, ya know? Dr. Davis declared the rare chance of it spreading, as well as telling me how my one swipe really meant it had not gone further.  I still pray he is right.  I feel like a doctor's payday dream. (Explanation to that comment will appear in the future.) 

2)  Since SCC had been diagnosed and Moh'd on (<-- hee, hee...get it?) I had a follow up with my regular dermatologist.  A spot on the petite nose of mine had refused to go away.  Dang little thing was right in the center of my face.  I have a peculiar issue with symmetry, btw.  Anyway, it had been 'frozen' with Nitro, popped as a pimple, and a few other things I can't remember.  Biopsy performed. 

November 2014--Basal Cell Carcinoma diagnosed.  Moh's surgery again.  This time, I have a nice little scar running half the length down my nose.  It's off center.  Not exactly in the middle. It bothers me a bit just seeing it.  The UNsymmetry of it all!

3)  I start an imiquimod cream January 1st.  What a way to start the New Year!  I am 41, closing the gap to 42, and I really am in some sort of denial that I am middle aged  and should be having any problems at all.  But alas, that isn't true.  I will save the juicy details for further readings.  However, I will say that despite having two new shiny scars (P.S. of which they hypertrophied.  UGH!  Can my body just cooperate for once?) I am grateful the SCC was caught early.  If it had been on my backside...well, I never check there. 

Well the eyes are getting gritty, so I probably need to head to the bed.  After all, this is the week before Christmas break...someone has to peel those kiddos from the ceiling!