1) It's your body. Don't be bullied or pressured into making a decision (promptly) without much consideration, counseling (if needed), or second/third/tenth opinions.
2) It's okay to say 'wait' if it isn't life threatening at that moment.
3) It's okay to ask for advice. And then some.
4) It's okay to cancel a follow up appointment when you know that your appointment will last literally two minutes, with nothing to show for it except a $300 bill.
5) It's okay to have regrets. Cry about it. Move on.
Okay. So here's where I'm at right now. I WISH I had canceled my surgery appointment for my nose. Here's why. The appointment was made directly after the biopsy results came in. By the time the surgery date rolled around, NOTHING was on my nose. So at that point, where to exactly have surgery became a guessing game. I had a hazy picture of a disappearing biopsy and the nurse and I had to play 'pin the dot' on my nose. It was difficult, and we erased and re-marked my nose three times. I have a bad feeling that we had it right on the first try. You see, after my first round with Zyclara, IT's BACK. Right below the tip of the scar line. And I get the feeling it is my original, biopsied BCC. Which would mean that I had healthy tissue operated and cut away, and a nice scar to show for it. For nothing. My husband made a remark to me today and it struck me as how right he was, and why didn't I think of that. He said---"It's your body. Why didn't you cancel the appointment until you knew exactly where it was again?" Yeah. Why didn't he offer that advice to me prior to the surgery!? LOL. Some days I'm not the brightest crayon in the box.
In addition to all that, I now have a bump that has formed, seemingly, within the cartilage right below the actual nose bone. It's on my right side and I definitely have a bump. I've read where that may happen when there is surgery around cartilage (or big needles being stuck in it). I'm hoping it doesn't get any larger and goes away on its own.
Please don't think I'm a vain person. I do have my moments, and it is a little deflating to one's self esteem at times. Right now I am avoiding the mirror when absolutely possible. Yes, it bothers me. Especially when I feel like I haven't made the right decision and I have proof of it. I have issues with being right.
All in all, the Zyclara went oddly well. I don't know if that means it's working and I reacted well, or it's not working and that's why I reacted well. My last day to apply the cream was the 14th. Just this week I have two spots (one that I believe is the original BCC) and another one beside it which have appeared. This may be due to the Zyclara and they are just now showing up. Glad I didn't go to my 'check up' for it...there was nothing there. (Seems to be a common theme).
I have decided to forgo an appointment about undeclared BCC and document it through pictures and measurements (something I'd wish I had done when I had the biopsy---word of advice, document everything!) and then talk about it with my Derm at the next appointment (which would be after the next 14 days of Zyclara). As expensive as office visits are, I'm trying to lean down on the trips.
All that being said, I'm living with my tiny regrets and they may seem small in comparison to the world of REALLY big problems others are having. I realize this. I'm human, too. I know I have many blessings to be thankful for (and I really am), so I'm just going to have to muddle through my feelings and get over it.
And something that I'm always thankful for---this bunch seen below. Even on my bad days.
In closing, I hope you have received something that may be useful to you in the future, or something to consider one day. If you have any questions, or even a thought, please leave it in the comments section. Appreciate your time! Will be updating right before the second round, which would be close to the end of January. Until then...see ya!
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